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Pick a color. Pick a date. Pick a card, any card. The mere mention of the word “pick’” used to make me cringe. As an avid writer, filmmaker, stand-up comedienne, and gregarious individual, storytelling is in my nature, but there was one story I was determined never to tell.
I have compulsively picked my skin daily for well over two decades, am scarred head-to-toe, and have spent a majority of my formative years doing anything and everything I could to keep anyone from looking too closely or asking too many questions. My Skin Picking Disorder- or as I came to know it, Dermatillomania -was my shameful, confusing, unstoppable, dirty little secret that not only shaped and defined my skin but crafted a myriad of falsehoods of my life experiences and interpretations of my own identity. If you were to tell me a year ago that I would transition from being a silent sufferer to creating and running my own non-profit advocating for the same disorder, I’d ask if you felt feverish. But here we are. This is a story of identity and personal growth, the self-esteem that it takes to accept and live with a mental illness, and how choosing yourself over the disorder that chose you is the ultimate freedom. This is how I’m #PickingMe over my BFRB.
After silently struggling with this OCD related Body-Focused Repetitive Behavior for over 2 decades, the medical community caught up with me and recognized the chronic condition in the DSM-5 in 2013, followed by my 2014 diagnosis. Sure, I was thrilled to have an answer for my compulsive skin picking, but it was devastating to learn the disorder is under-reported and misdiagnosed with hardly any medical funding, research, treatment or a cure. Not only that, but there was not one mental health advocacy organization in existence dedicate to this often shameful and isolating neurological disorder. That is, until now.
Picking Me Foundation (501(c)3) is dedicated to raising awareness and inspiring acceptance about the Body-Focused Repetitive Behavior, Dermatillomania aka Skin Picking Disorder, for sufferers, supporters, and educational communities alike! I hope to change the connotation of “pick” for BFRB sufferers, to help patients and parents understand these behaviors are not their fault, and to educate the medical world on the dire funding Dermatillomania needs. Picking Me Foundation sends Fiddle Packs full of fidget toys and BFRB information to day cares, schools, and baby-sitting organizations, in hopes of helping sufferers keep their finger energy off their bodies while engaging community leaders to start conversations about BFRBs early on. Through our social media campaigns and interactive mental health booths, we encourage sufferers to share why they are #PickingMe over their BFRB we seek help individuals understand they are more than their disorder. With each hashtag and story from fellow sufferers or supporters, I understand myself more and more, and I will be forever thankful that. Even though my recovery and management is an ongoing journey, I’m happy I’ve finally picked ME over picking me, and plan to help those in need do the same. I’m #PickingMe over my BFRB because my story isn’t over and I sure have a lot to say. How about you?
